Regret and Sorrow

I feel pretty terrible today. I am just so stressed out. I am working so much now it never seems like I have anytime for me or to just relax. I get paid and then it’s all gone within just a few days. I feel almost like a failure. It’s like nothing can ever go right and I am just stuck in this loop until something stops me.

My boyfriend told me that he’s applied for jobs out-of-state. Mining jobs in like Salt Lake City or Colorado. I hope he gets something, but it scares me to death to think about it. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much, but what if he does get the job? What if we move and never see our friends here again. Yes granted there aren’t many people we call friends here, but still…Plus I’d never see him much if he did get the job. He’d always be tired and we’d never be able to do things together. Yes the money would be better, but it just scares me. Moving to a strange city with no certainty how long we’d be there or how long he’d have the job. This morning he told me he could see regret and sorrow in my eyes. I am just so worried and scared what’s going to become of us…

~ by alicechick on March 12, 2012.

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