Social Awkwardness?

I am a quiet kind of girl. I usually don’t go out of my way to talk to people I don’t know, but I am trying. To be honest I am cautious at first, but I warm up to others fairly quickly. I think that’s why I don’t have too much trouble speaking in front of groups. Yes there’s the quick nervous wave at first but then I am ok.

But life isn’t like that right now. It isn’t the quick jump in nerves. My roommates very social and it’s odd when we are out together. But I suppose it’s a good thing they are, I’ll meet new people, make new friends, isn’t that what people want? To be accepted by others and by those standards “popular”.

I don’t want that. I don’t make good friend very easily, but once I do have my good friends we stick together. I have my group. WE are defined. We are the social misfits; the band geeks, the awkward Mormon kids that shouldn’t be Mormon, the quiet free flow kids, the kind that aren’t afraid to be different and usually scary the so called popular kids. Can anyone blame me if I don’t accept happily when I am thrust head first into the den of the populars?

I am learning things however about these populars. Even though I am in the Mormon popular division things are very odd. I must have been raised old fashioned or something because I don’t accept the idea that you can have multiple make out partners in the same night without being called a slut or a player. And forgive me if I don’t want to break my rules and start dating these “pretty” girly boys. My rules are no blondes and no Mormons. I don’t enjoy dating Mormon guys and blondes are usually just a hassle.

To be perfectly clear I am not saying anything bad or negative about the Mormon religion. I was raised Mormon, I just don’t want to date guys who are Mormon.

I need a guy as crazy or crazier than me to have fun with. Not 3 or 4, just one. A guy that I can just be myself and not have to worry about trying hard to impress him or be someone else just for him. I really need a good guy for once too…


~ by alicechick on August 14, 2011.

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